New Year's and Old Habits
by the.eye.does.not.SEE
Summary: After wasting almost the entire night staring at him without electing a response, being forced into a conversation with him is the last thing Lexie wants to be doing. Mark/Lexie New Year's Eve special


_Author's Note: Please enjoy, everyone. Happy New Year!_

. . .

New Year's Eve

11 PM

. . .

She's been staring at him for over an hour.

And he hasn't noticed. He hasn't once looked in her direction. Not _once_. Not one time.

In the last four hours, _she's_ spent more time than she'd like to admit looking in _his_ direction, and she has nothing to show for it. She's also done more brooding than drinking, and somehow even without consuming alcohol, a bitter taste is left in her mouth. _If he wanted to talk to you, he'd come over here and talk to you,_ she reminds herself for the millionth time as she steals yet another glance to the far corner of the room where he's talking with Karev and Yang. _If he wanted to be with you, he'd be with you. But he doesn't, and he has a girlfriend, so let it go already!_

. . .

The following hour passed slowly. Just as Meredith announced one minute till midnight, Lexie left the living room. It was getting too stuffy in there—too hot, too drunk, too many happy couples eagerly awaiting committing public displays of affection.

Truthfully, Lexie had never been averse to PDA, but recently, she found that she'd hit her limit. Maybe it was the singleness—the alone-ness—that was doing it to her. Or maybe it was because she had only liked flaunting her relationship with one person in public.

"Girlfriend," Lexie mutters to herself, ducking out of the main room and into the Grey's front hallway. "He has a—"

"Hey!" Mark's voice jolts her out of her thoughts just as she runs right into him.

"Oh, sorry," she replies, backing away flustered. "I wasn't, uh, looking where I was going—"

"That much is obvious."

For the first time, she looks up into his eyes. And glares at him. "Thanks, Mark, but I was a little preoccupied, okay?"

"Running from the party?" He guesses, glancing over her shoulder as someone shouts 'forty seconds!'

"No, I just—"

"Since when do you not like parties?"

"I just don't like this one, is all," Lexie replies impatiently. After wasting almost the entire night staring at him without electing even the smallest response, being forced into a conversation with him is the last thing Lexie wants to be doing. If she speaks to him, she wants it to be on her terms.

"Why not?" He asks. "It seems like a fine party to me." She catches a glint of something mischievous in his eyes, and—that's it. He knows she doesn't want to be having this conversation—or any conversation—with him, so he's decided to test her impatience, piss her off, and press it further. She can tell from his smug expression that he seems to enjoy it, and that only makes her angrier. So she blurts the first thing that comes time, thinking it'll scare him off and expedite their parting of ways.

"Don't you have a girlfriend to go kiss at midnight or something?" Lexie snaps, just a hair sharper than she'd intended. She stares right at him, hoping the annoyance in her voice and the fierce, intense quality of her gaze will throw him off. She almost jumps when he laughs.

"We broke up," he replies quietly after his laughter dies down a few seconds later.

"You did?"

"Yeah. She wasn't really interested in the whole my-boyfriend-has-a-kid aspect of the relationship."

"Oh." Lexie nods. She's been there. "Too bad."

"Yeah, well…" He shrugs, and she wonders if she's putting too much meaning into the quick way his eyes lock with hers. "It wasn't going to last, anyway."

Lexie feels her heartbeat quicken at the quiet way he says those words and the personal way he stares into her eyes. She forces herself to calm down. "Why not?" She asks, trying to distract him from noticing how ridiculous she's acting.

"We just…" He shakes his head, taking his time in answering. He's somehow oblivious to the fact that she's hanging on his every word. "We didn't really have anything in common," he ends up settling on.

"I'm… I'm sure you could have found something in common."

"Yeah," Mark agrees, nodding slowly. "If I'd tried," he adds a second later, an almost-silent afterthought.

"Thirty seconds!" comes the shout from the adjacent room.

Lexie glances over her shoulder at the ruckus, suddenly nervous they'll be interrupted. "You didn't try?" She asks, curious. She chuckles nervously. "I mean, you two were dating, and you just… let it fall apart?"

"No," he replies calmly, meeting her eyes. She stares back, wondering why he isn't more defensive. "I… I did try. Just not…not as hard as I could have."

"So you let it fall apart," Lexie concludes.

"Hey, she's the one who didn't want to be a step-mom," Mark replies, his voice rising slightly over the din in the other room. "It wasn't like I just stopped putting effort into the relationship. I don't give up like that."  
>For some reason, Lexie finds herself holding back a laugh. "Right," Lexie replies sarcastically. "<em>You<em> don't give up."

Mark opens his mouth to reply, but before his speaks, he seems to realize something. His eyes narrow as he stares at her. "We're not talking about you and me, Lex."

"_What?_" She replies incredulously. "Of course we're not talking about us."

"Then why did you say it that way?"  
>"Why did I say <em>what <em>that way?"

"You said, 'Right, _you _don't give up," he mimics, accentuating her tone. "Like you're implying that I do give up." He pauses, staring at her. "Like you're trying to tell me _I _gave up on us."

"Hm," Lexie mutters. "Gee, I don't know why I'd say it like that… Oh, maybe because you _did _give up on us!"

"Oh, I can't believe this," he mutters, half turning away from her before facing her again. "You _would _say that I gave up on us." He stares at her, his eyes boring into her like blue fire. "But guess what, Lex? I had a kid. I'm sorry to say, but that kid came first."

"Right," she replies, swallowing roughly. "You had a kid. The kid came first. The kid came before me."

He stares at her, frozen, on edge, and waiting for what's coming next.

"When," she begins quietly. She pauses, biting her lip and taking a breath. "_When_," she continues, "are you _ever _going to learn that I want _you _to pick _me _first?" Her voice is rising to a shout, but it can barely be heard over the revelry going on in the other room. "I mean, just _once_, Mark! God, just _once, _I want to be the first person on your mind when you make a decision. _Just. Once._" She stares at him, waiting for an answer, and when he doesn't reply, she just shakes her head. She's about to turn away when he finally speaks.

"You think I don't put you first?" He asks quietly. "You think you aren't the first person who comes to mind whenever I do _anything_? You think I go through surgery without thinking of you being there? Do you think I can play with my daughter without wondering what you're doing? You think I go through a single day without missing you or wishing I could go back and change things?" He pauses, but his eyes never leave hers. "Just so you know, I didn't sleep with Julia. Sex was one of the few things we could have had in common, yet I couldn't let that happen because I couldn't stop thinking about you. I couldn't stop thinking about all the things I've screwed up between you and I and I just _couldn't_." He sighs. "I put you first in everything I do, Lex. And I've been waiting for you to realize it, and you never have. And you still aren't, so—"

Lexie steps forward immediately, interrupting his words and crashing her lips to his. She grabs onto the back of his neck with one hand and uses the other to cup his cheek and pull his lips closer. Her lips cover his—a little desperate, a lot insistent, and a bit too forceful. When she hears the wall behind him shake and rattle, she pulls back. He doesn't meet her eyes immediately; instead, he turns around to right the picture she'd almost knocked to the ground in her haste to push him up against the nearest flat surface and—

"I'm sorry," she blurts. "That—that was so—I mean, I didn't mean to—" She breaks off with a frustrated groan and backs away from him.

"Lexie," Mark murmurs. "I…"

She shakes her head rapidly, and he trails off when he sees her take another step back realizes she's telling him that she can't deal with this all right now. But even though she might shake her head at him and back away from his contact, Mark knows better than anyone that sometimes she refuses exactly what she wants.

So he starts slow.

He reaches out, moving his arm towards her at a steady pace. When his hand is centimeters from hers, he lets his fingers brush her skin gently. She doesn't flinch, and a second later, he takes her hand in his. His eyes seek out her face, but she's not looking at him. She's looking down, and licking her lips nervously as she stares at their handholding. He briefly contemplates letting go, but ignores the idea and instead steps forward. Her eyes shoot upward, flying to his, and he holds her gaze. He stares into her eyes as he leans forward, rests his free hand against her cheek, and kisses her forehead softly.

When he pulls back, she grips his hand in hers. She steps forward without hesitation and molds her lips to his. Her kiss isn't possessive or distraught this time. In fact, it's anything but. Her lips curve to heed his lead easily, though it doesn't seem like there's much to follow. His kiss is just as yielding as hers, and soon their mouths are moving together simply by muscle memory, with neither trying to gain the advantage.

"What was that for?" Mark asks quietly as their lips pull apart a minute later.

Lexie smiles shakily at him. "I did it to shut you up," she replies. She hopes that's an okay explanation, but she can't quite be sure—not when her heart's beating unusually fast, not when her mind is spinning, not when his hand is touching her cheek and his lips still hover only inches from hers.

She watches said lips flicker; they almost twitch upward into a smile. "Were my words bothering you?" He asks. His voice is quiet, slightly rough, and even the sound of it causes her stomach to erupt in nervous butterflies. _Pull yourself together_, she tells herself. _This certainly isn't the first time you've kissed._

"You could say that," she replies with a weak smile. "Or…" She looks into his eyes. "Or you could say that it was exactly what I wanted to hear."

He smiles slowly at her, moving forward hesitantly. "Are you sure?" He asks quietly. "Because if we're… doing this again… Lexie, this has to be it. I can't keep breaking up and getting back together with you. It's one or the other."

"I know that." She surprises herself by keeping her voice relatively calm.

"So?"

"So, it's a new year," she replies. "It means that we… We…" She trails off, somehow unable to keep what she knows must be a idiotic and childish smile from spreading over her face.

"We can start over," he whispers quietly, finishing her though aloud. "New year, new start. We can do it. We can do it and be done."

Lexie swallows, feeling her heart rise to her throat and feeling the pulse radiate through her entire body at just the hint of a revival and sustainment of their romantic relationship. "Really?" She whispers, reaching up to place her hand over his. "You mean that?"

"Only if you want me to mean it," he murmurs in reply. She can feel his hand beneath hers, his thumb stroking her cheek delicately. "Only if you want this to be it."

"I do." Her voice is barely audible, but it's not her words he needs. He can see the truth in her eyes, and he stares into them as he speaks.

"Then let's start again," he whispers, bending forward and touching his lips to hers. Lexie returns the kiss immediately, wrapping her arms around his neck and stepping forward until their bodies are pressed together. When they have to break apart for air, she leans her forehead against his, never slackening her tight hold on the back of his neck nor the constant contact of the front of their bodies. They take a silent moment to breathe each other in, and Lexie closes her eyes as she admits softly, "I've been staring at you all night."

"Really?" Mark murmurs, disinterest plain in his voice. "I hadn't noticed."

Her eyes open immediately, lighting up at his teasing. "Jerk," she replies, pushing against his chest lightly when she sees his mouth has turned up in a smirk. "I thought you were ignoring me because you didn't want anything to do with me," she whispers softly a moment later.

"I was trying to," Mark murmurs, leaning forward to kiss her again.

"You were?" She asks against his lips. "Trying to ignore me, I mean?"

"Mmhm," Mark sighs into the kiss. A few seconds later, he draws back to answer her question. "Yes," he replies. "I was trying to ignore you because…" He pauses, looking into her eyes. "Because I knew the second our eyes met I wouldn't be able to wait till midnight."

Lexie smiles, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss to his lips. "But you did."

"I did." He pauses, staring at her. He lowers his voice to a familiar, husky decibel. "But I'm done with the waiting now." His eyes drift upwards, pointedly following the curve of the staircase, before returning to her face. "Aren't you?"

Lexie nods her head, reaching forward and clutching his face between her hands as she pulls his mouth to hers. "I'm so done with the waiting," she agrees, already backing him towards the bottom stair.

They've barely stepped inside Lexie's bedroom before their lips are on each other's again. Her tongue is in his mouth, and his hands are traveling up under her shirt as they stumble towards the bed.

She's whispering to him urgently, trying to explain between hurried kisses and soft moans the reason she had to walk away all those months ago. And he forgives her, again and again… When her apologies become too much, he cheekily replies that he knew she'd always be back. This arrogant response earns him a sharp scratch of her nails, and though he pretended it hurt, they both knew she wasn't putting anything close to her full force behind the gesture. And even if she had, it wouldn't have mattered.

Not with her smiling up at him, her eyes bright and wild and alive and happy—truthfully, nothing else really mattered as long as he could see that smile on her face and that look of love she reserved only for him in her eyes. He stares at her for a moment too long, and when she stares back, he wonders if she'd taking in the same look on his face. He grins at the thought, pulling her close for a kiss when suddenly—he's blinded.

Mark and Lexie both shut their eyes, jerking away from each other as the overhead light blinds their eyes as it cuts through the darkness in the room. When their eyes adjust a few seconds later, they seek out the reason behind the intrusion and see Meredith Grey standing in the open doorway.

In their haste to be together again, neither Mark nor Lexie had even bothered to close the door.

"You know," Meredith begins, taking a swig of her drink as she leans against the doorframe. "If I'm being completely honest, I expected I'd find Alex here screwing some nurse before I saw you two at it again." She hiccups drunkenly, almost grinning. "Up to your old tricks again, eh, guys? How's it feel to sneak around my house again?"

"We weren't sneaking around," Lexie replies, pulling her shirt back into place so her skin is no longer exposed. She can hear Mark buckling the belt of his pants behind her. "We were just—" She breaks off, exhaling sharply as she stares up at her sister. "Mer, don't you have a party to get back to?"

Meredith waves a hand. "Yeah, yeah." She sighs loudly, taking another swig of her drink, before stepping back. "I know when I'm not wanted." Her half-empty glass bangs against her leg as she lowers her arm to her side, but when her eyes focus on the pair, her gaze is surprisingly sharp. She wags a finger in their direction as she takes another step back. "Don't be too loud, kids."

Lexie rolls her eyes and gets to her feet with an impatient sigh. "Good-bye, Meredith," she says, all but shutting the door in her sister's face.

"So…" Mark draws out the word from behind her. Even before catching sight of him, Lexie knew he was already lying spread out on her bed. She turns around nonetheless, walking slowly to the bed as he grins up at her. "How loud is too loud, do you think?"

Lexie smiles back, bending down to join him on the bed. Just as their lips meet, a shout comes from the hallway.

"Derek!" Meredith yells. "Don't go upstairs, okay? Lexie and Sloan are celebrating New Year's privately! They don't want any interruptions!"

"God," Lexie groans, reaching up to cover her eyes in embarrassment and annoyance. This time, Mark doesn't even attempt to contain his laughter. She removes her hand to glare at him. "This isn't funny, Mark."

He raises his eyebrows at her. "Really? Because I think it's funny."

"It is _not_ funny!" Lexie replies heatedly. "Almost our entire surgical staff is down there, and now they all think we're up here—"

"Sloan," Derek calls loudly from what sounds like the bottom of the staircase. "You need a condom?"

"_Jesus Chri_—" Lexie curses.

"Nah, I'm good, Shep," Mark shouts back through the door. "But thanks!" He grins, hearing Derek's retreating footsteps creak on the bottom few steps as he returns to the party. When he looks back to Lexie, her crossed arms are accompanied by a contemptuous expression directed straight at him. "Oh, come on," he laughs, watching as she jumps to her feet. "He was joking, Lex—"

"That's it," Lexie cuts in, pulling him to his feet as she heads to the door. "We're not staying here."

"Oh?" Mark questions, his eyebrows raised as he follows after her. "And where do you propose we go?"

"Your place," Lexie replies simply. She turns, grinning at him. "At least we'll find some privacy at home, right?"

. . .

_Author's Note: So I haven't really watched this season at all… If I got some details wrong like, say, Mark's skanky girlfriend's name or the fact that they have or have not slept together, forgive me._

_Happy New Year, everyone, I hope you liked it!_

_Please review, you all know how I love them :)_


End file.
